The city of Portland is considered as quite a liberal town as a whole, which is a reflection of the Portland adult sex and dating scene. What’s the average number of dates in this city before a couple gets to have sex? The answer is probably around four. Even if the people here are just cool about sex, they seem to have a hard time dealing with relationships that don’t work out, or those that work out terribly. What happens is they flirt, date, have sex, and then get to know the person they had sex with. They soon scratch their heads, wondering how things in their relationships have gone terribly wrong.
As much as we would like to think that both love and sex are separate things, they really aren’t, biologically speaking. Nature has made sure that the hormones responsible for bonding and attachment flow when we have sex. Why would this happen otherwise? And why would we want to bond and feel attached to someone we even barely know?
You don’t have to be a social conservative to be convinced of this argument; it’s just practical reasoning. If you want to be in satisfying relationships, take a good look at what happens when you go out dating, and observe the things that result in happiness or unhappiness for both parties. While having sex early on doesn’t mean it will ruin things, as some conservatives might say, it seems that delaying sex until one knows a person enough about the other has a positive effect on one’s dating relationships.
Much has already been written regarding this subject, like the one done by psychologist and sex therapist Aline P. Zoldbrod, Ph.D. So if commenters keep saying that sex early in a relationship does not work well on average, then why do we still keep doing things this way? Here are a few Portland adult sex myths that keep people from having some action under the sheets with strangers:
1. You can keep attachment separate from sex.
2. You need to have sex with someone so you could get to know them.
3. Deferring sex will just frustrate a partner so much that they’ll dump you and move on.
4. Delaying sex makes you a prude.
5. Holding off sex labels you as a conservative.
6. It’s tough and not worth all the feelings of anxiety, impatience, and tension to wait.
7. If you do it with a lot of people, you become more of a man / woman.
8. Masturbation or any form of self-stimulation is shameful, sinful, or an unacceptable means of satisfaction.
9. Holding off on sex makes you a tease.
10. Doing the nasty with somebody new will improve your self-esteem.
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