Sites to Hookup

When I failed Advanced Biology in my senior year of high school, the class still left me with valuable lessons. One lesson related to the hookup dating discussion is the concept behind symbiotic and parasitic relationships.

To give you a straight definition, a symbiotic relationship is comprised of two organisms that benefit from each other. On the other hand, a parasitic relationship includes organisms in which one organism benefits but the other is harmed. In the hazardous world of dating, parasitic relationships happen more often than not. In a parasitic relationship, people use other people to get what they want. Of course, the “harmed” person ends up getting hurt, inflicting more shame and making that person feel stupid after the cat's out of the bag.

Here are the common ways people get used in hookup dating:

• For Sex

Generally, men are guilty of this offense, but it can also go both ways. It’s a rare occasion when both parties are fine with using each other for sex. Some say they can do it, but at some point human emotion is factored in and somebody ends up at the losing end of the stick.

• For Money

There was this one time at a family meal with guests and my sister said, “I really don’t like my boyfriend. I just stay with him because he buys me things.” My dad immediately chimed in, “What do you call that, a cocktease?” It was such a treat to have my father call my sister a cocktease in front of other people. Anyway, hookup dating someone for the money is pretty much an age-old standard way to use someone.

• To Make Someone Else Jealous

What’s more insulting about this is the victim feels twice as dumb. In addition to this, when the situation gets out of control it turns out the user was interested in somebody else all along. The victim is pretty much a clueless pawn in this game.

• For Self-Esteem

You can hear this from people saying, “They make me feel good about myself.” People shouldn’t depend on others to feel better. It should come from inside. And if a relationship is used to make you feel good, then you’re in it for the wrong reason.

• To Climb a Ladder

There are a lot of times when people get to be where they want to be because of who they know. It is common in Hollywood wherein unions between aspiring actors and hotshot producers happen. We’ve all heard of “sleeping your way to the top,” so relationships go the same way.

Always remember that when somebody is used in a relationship, the balance is thrown off. Be aware of what your partner talks about. No matter how much they try not to make it look like they are using you, what they want from you will regularly come up in your conversations—it will eventually have to rear its ugly head.

When looking for matches in a one night stand website, you can’t help to come across single women in their thirties. It can be quite challenging for a woman to be in her thirties. They get the feeling of accomplishment somehow, but think it is not yet enough. This feeling of “enough” is kind of hard to explain, but it may be the single most important thing that can define women in their thirties. “Enough” is not measured by the money they earn, the degree they have achieved, the number of shoes they have in their collection, or having babies—it’s something bigger.

For women who hit their thirties, they start to see two clear paths that they can take: one leads to career, and one leads to family. When some women turn thirty, this is the only time they realize the gravity of the situation being presented to them—how do they it to have both?

To give you a guide in hooking up with women in their thirties from a one night stand website, here is a guide of what NOT to say when trying to connect with them.

• “Ah, the big three-o!”

For women turning thirty, it is a milestone with no good reason. It’s just a seemingly random and frivolous occasion that makes you re-evaluate everything that you have, all the things you’ve done, all that you are, and all you wish to be. It may be serious stuff, but frankly annoying.

• “Women are like fine wine, they get better with age.”

Any jokes or statements metaphorically comparing women to fine wine should be declared illegal. Turning thirty is not the same as turning twenty-one, so this isn’t really cool.

• “Is that your biological clock I hear ticking?”

Any mention of the biological clock is a big no-no. Women are going to tell you they don’t really think about it, but in reality they all do. They are either trying to ignore it or are totally obsessing about it—or maybe a combination of both. Since they have babies on their minds during this stage, it’s not a good idea to ask about being married and planning to have a family.

• “You should really start looking after yourself.”

Do not suddenly be condescending about their health like they were eating poorly before they hit thirty. They made it to their thirties, so don’t patronize them.

One cannot overlook the significance of making your first physical contact with a woman when hookup dating. Whether you are still in the early stages of hookup dating or a first meeting with a girl, physical contact is a good indication of progress. And once you’ve crossed that line, you can work on increasing the frequency, length and level of intensity of such contact. There are a variety of ways to break the touch barrier. So if you are wondering how to initiate such a move when out hookup dating, here is a short list of the best ways to do that.

• If she’s feeling cold, take her hands and rub with yours – This may be a bit cheesy, but when executed properly with a little irony, it can make for good laughs and help establish a connection. It can also send a message saying you can offer a warm and safe place for them when they feel cold. • Brush an eyelash off her face – This is something reminiscent of those annoying romcoms, but when done properly, taking out a tiny piece of hair from her face can have a surprising effect on a woman. It can also say you’re looking out for them and even the smallest thing can’t get by you. She may laugh it off, but she will surely enjoy the skin contact. • Hold her hand to lead her someplace – This is one of the best displays of alpha male behavior, which is also a relatively low-risk way to initiate physical contact and can be quite easy to pull off. It exhibits leadership, being protective and confidence. • Read her palm – One of the oldest in the book, this move is full of possibilities for bold wit. When she’s looking at you while you focus on reading her palm, you can say a variety of flirtatious lines to make her laugh. • Make contact when dancing – The beauty of this is since you are dancing, you are practically licensed to pretty much put your hands all over her. Well, almost but that shouldn’t stop you from putting your hands on her hips and get closer. • Offer a massage – If she looks tired or stressed, position yourself to offer a back rub or a shoulder massage. She’ll be thankful for the idea and it’s the perfect time to introduce your hands and make physical contact. Just make sure you know what you are doing, because nothing spells disaster than like applying the wrong pressure on a pain-sensitive part of her body.

A single man’s goal is to land a single woman when they go hookup dating. However, no matter how overly charming, highly attractive and perfectly witty you are, women can be turned off instantly like a light bulb in a flick of a switch. Here are a few things to avoid when hookup dating with a woman so you can stop yourself from turning them off.

• Being overly intoxicated – Under the right circumstances, it is probably alright to be a little out of control when drinking—like maybe in the confines of your own home or at a bachelor’s party. Being loud and obnoxious or stumbling, slurring your words and falling all over the place are not the qualities that women go for when hookup dating.

• Negative vibes – On your first meet up, avoid throwing playful insults and just try to be sweet and charming. Refrain from criticizing other people too, even if your intention is to give her a compliment. Don’t say, “That girl’s legs are short and stubby. Yours are much nicer.” Negative statements can show you are mean, a snob, picky or simply an idiot.

• Bad pickup lines – This cannot be emphasized more. Delivering cheesy one liners when trying to pick up women just shows your lack of creativity, imagination and romance. The best way to do this is to show and make her feel you are sincerely interested, or else you’ll just be driving her away. • Too much cologne – It is a given that you should smell good when you’re with a woman. A fragrant aftershave, cologne or deodorant is a great way to attract a female, but one spray too much can be offensive to a woman’s sense of smell.

• Expletives – A man with a dirty mouth does not make a good first impression. It is important to be a gentleman on the onset of a relationship. A potty mouth is a sign of awful manners, which is someone women wouldn’t want to spend time with.

• Bad breath – You have been pulling all the stops all night and they all seem to work on her, but you can put all your efforts in vain with bad breath. Good oral hygiene is extremely essential. Chipped and rotting teeth, chapped lips and halitosis will send her running for the hills. If your mouth isn’t clean, it will make her wonder which parts of your body aren’t too.

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First impressions on people are generally based on non-verbal signs. According to the Social Issues Research Center, human communication is made up of 55% non-verbal, 38% using signals, and 7% has anything to do with what you actually say. This leads to the conclusion that to know if a girl from a one night stand website is into you, you should keenly observe her non-verbal signals. Here are proven ways that girls consciously, and sometimes unwittingly, let you know they are interested. Look out for them and watch your dating life unfold.

• Touching and flicking of hair – For more than four decades, scientists have been studying non-verbal behaviors of women to let men know they are interested. One essential category of flirting is called kinetic gestures, which includes the oldest trick in the book—the proverbial hair toss. But while a casual and seductive hair toss can be a signal of letting you know she enjoys your company, too much can mean she’s just nervous or not sure about you.

• Licking of lips – This is another kinetic gesture that girls do unwittingly to show they’re into you. This sign may be an indication that they want to draw attention to their lips and may have the desire to liplock. You should exercise caution though, to avoid creating an embarrassing and awkward moment. Too much lip licking can be an indication of a bad habit.

• Teasing – When we were kids, the one way of showing a girl that you liked her was by throwing insults her way or stuffing dirt in her clothes. Now, consider teasing the adult version of this behavior. Don’t be too sensitive about it though. That girl you want to hook up with from a one night stand website might just be testing your level of interest.

• A friendly response to your messages – A curt response to your messages is one way of shutting you down. However, a friendly and smiling response is a sign of wanting to have further conversation. To get quality time to your next search on a one night stand website, ask questions that are easy to answer so they can respond simply. Through their responses, you’ll know if they are interested.

• She shares back – Once you have a good conversation going on, take it to the next level by sharing something a bit intimate to her. You should keep one thing in mind though—the less you know her, the more positive and less personal the information you should share, unless you want to scare her off. If this is reciprocated, it is a sign she sees you in a more favorable light. Capitalize.

• Open postures – This applies to both men and women. We send signals by changing the posture and orientation or our bodies. If she is turned away from you, especially at a 90 degree angle, this is a sign she is non-verbally shutting off your attempts to get to know her. Her arms crossed on her chest and when she is trying to lean away from you are also similar signs of this. Receptive signs show postures that are open and welcoming like having her torso face you, arms uncrossed and her body leaning towards you.

If you have decided to make the jump and have opened your doors to dating through an online dating web site, here are four very helpful tips to make a good impression and bring your A game.

1. Use a mature screen name.

BigLebowski9inch may sound clever to you, but it’s highly unlikely SweetPea26 will want nothing to do with a guy who feels the need to let everybody know at an online dating website, especially when you're probably not even close to even a four.

Have fun and be creative with your screen name. However, refrain from being arrogant or cocky. Avoid using names that refer to wealth or immaturity. Select names that are catchy and easy to remember. You should think of a name that gives an indication of who you are or what you are all about. For instance, if you play in a band and are a culinary expert, your screen name could be BassPlayingChef. Right off the bat, you get a sense of what this person is all about. Remember that this is a name that can stick to you as a nickname, so don’t go for names like MommasBoy or IAmKingKong.

2. Use a nice high-quality profile picture.

An online dating web site profile without a photo says two things: You are either unattractive or you’re in a relationship. Of course, people looking for a potential partner would want to see your face, so shots with sunglasses and/or headgear that may hide even part of your face might as well not even be displayed. A cap can make her reach an assumption that you may have a balding problem that you are trying to hide. Have someone else take your picture for you, because a self-portrait screams desperate loneliness.

Upload a current headshot and a full-body portrait of yourself. Kick it up a notch with a picture of you laughing. Generally, people make their decision based on the primary photo. There are online dating websites where you can upload up to 20 photos or more, so you can include a variety photos that can showcase your personality. Just make sure your primary profile photo is an accurate representation of what you really look like.

3. Write a clever profile.

Don’t sound apologetic. People don’t need you to tell them you’re not a writer or you’re not good in writing things about yourself. Be positive; let your character and personality shine through.

Women are generally more emotional than visual, so try to describe the many aspects of your personality as you can. Injecting humor and a little self-deprecation can be endearing. It is also a good way to get noticed.

4. Always be honest.

More often than not, guys lie about their height and gals about their weight. Since women take a few inches off what you put on your profile anyway, this doesn’t put you in the clear. If you’re just a 5’6” and her height requirement is at least 5’10”, just play by the rules and move on to the next. Or else, when you finally meet on your first date, get ready to be smacked in your lying little face.